So, first things first. Saturday, in theory, we will be leaving for DisneyWorld. I've decided, after my last shitty trip to Florida, that I'm not going and god help whoever tries to make me.

My reasons for this are pretty numerous but the main ones are A, it's Florida and that means that even in November it's gonna be a hell of a lot hotter than I'd like (at this point in the year, 40 degree F temperatures or lower are what I really badly would like), and B, it's freaking DisneyWorld. Kids /everywhere./ I don't like kids, I never want to have kids and I sure as hell don't want to be anywhere near kids if they're not related to me, especially if they're under like 10 and have horrid manners. Which, if you haven't been subjected to them recently, most kids under the age of 10 do. Especially at Disney.

Oh, and the last time I went I got a miserable case of the flu and spent my Christmas vomiting on myself. There was no amount of presents that could make up for that, and it's not like my immune system is improved since then.

More like the exact opposite. >_>

However, the catch is that my parents are retarded assholes who need a shooting, and they think I need a babysitter, and keep giving me these bullshit excuses to make me think they want me to go with them (and I know for a fact that they don't). I'M TWENTY. I can feed myself, clothe myself, bathe myself and clean my clothes. About the only thing I can't fucking do is drive, and that's more out of laziness than anything else. This problem could be solved very very easily as long as the parents stocked the house with food and caffeine.

So, I decided faking illness was the best way, and I was going to make something up that sounds bad but is really just bullshit. Last I'd decided before I went out this afternoon, it was prolly going to be "Tekkenitis Trodeism." As in, Tekken the series from Namco and Trode the king from Dragon Quest VIII. And that would be pronounced, in this case, "Tek-ken-eye-tis troe-day-ism." It sounded better than "trodeism' with the original pronounciation. >_>

But. I was out doing some shit today with my dad and brother and we stopped for lunch at the Waffle House. Aaron was being a pest so I jokingly went to kick him, with sandals on, and missed horrifically and slammed my fucking foot into the solid metal post holding the table up, and I did this a fuckload harder than I meant to kick my brother. Top of my foot, right over the arch, was just slammed into it. I didn't yell or curse, I just doubled over, gasped "Ow" and cracked the hell up. I got through lunch OK, got back into the car but halfway home the caffeine wore off and my ankle, oddly, not the bones where I hit it, started pounding. It's the bones on the sides of my right ankle, both the inside and outside bone.

I can barely walk. I am thrilled beyond words, because I just mentioned to a friend late last night that I'm actually almost hoping I get pneumonia again and I never thought that those words would ever leave my lips because, like I'm sure anyone with a brain can guess, that was a horrible experience. Couldn't sleep because I couldn't stop coughing, could barely go outside and walk anywhere because I was so tired, had to sleep with ten layers of clothing on every part of my body for the first two or three days because I was so cold, and even now my lungs just kind of stop in cold weather.

So yeah, shitty, shitty winter. >_> And I would have taken that over DisneyWorld, but my ankle is fucked so hopefully this'll help. All I have to do is fake a severe limp (not that hard, because it hurts like hell and I just fell into the wall when I stood up to go get a drink a while ago), and stay off of it and in the bathtub as much as possible to get the swelling down, and I'll have a free week and a half if all goes well. 8DDDDDDDDDD


Wish me luck, ladies and gents, because this is gonna take all of my acting abilities to pull off well.

---------

Have memes while I let my ankle stew a bit more.

1. Do you snore?
Not unless I have a horrible sinus infection and cannot breathe.

2. Are you a lover or a fighter?
Fighter. I'm too cracked to be much of anything else.

3. What’s your worst fear?
Heights and centipedes.

4. As a kid, where you a lego maniac?
I still have four or five tubs of the things hanging around here somewhere. Whaddyou think? >_>

5. What do you think of “reality” tv?
I hope it rots in the realm of 'Things that were never meant to exist" along with Richard Simmons and Orochi. >_>

6. Do you chew on your straws?
And pens and basically everything else. I have some sort of oral fixation shit going on.

7. Were you a cute baby?
No, although my parents protest this. >_> I looked like my dad as a baby. I'm adopted. >_>

8. Is the single life for you?
Hahahahaha, this question is irrelevant. Whether or not it's for me, it's what I'll end up as in the long run.

9. What colour is your keyboard?
On my laptop, it's silver. On the dinoturd, it's a greyish white with blue accents.

10. Do your sing in the shower?
No. I suck, and I accept this.

11. Have you ever sky-dived before?
Why would I be dumb enough to do something that would most likely result in me passing out halfway out of the plane? <_<

12. Any secret talents?
It turns out I can do a pretty decent Gollum imitation, and if you get me angry enough I can scream like Corey Taylor from Slipknot. >_>

13. What’s your ideal vacation spot?
Somewhere with no people. Or failing that, somewhere where shooting trespassers is entirely legal. >_>

14. Can you swim?
No. I've been going to Florida since I was 2 and I have no idea how to swim, which is why I'm typing this from beyond the grave... Gawd, of course I can fucking swim. >_>

16. Have you seen the movie "Donnie Darko”?
No. Looks like crap, to be honest.

17. Do you care about the ozone?
Hahahahahaha. That's down there next to my mom at the bottom of the 'things I care about' list. >_>

18. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
2,983,122,353. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. >_>

19. Can you sing the alphabet backwards?
I've never tried. I'm not /that/ desperately bored to do so.

20. Have you ever been on an airplane?
Yeah. Last time I did it ended in horrific amounts of vomiting. Which, incidentally, seems to be a pretty common theme with me. <_<

21. Are you a single child?
I was for years but no, not anymore.

22. Do you prefer electronic or manual pencil sharpeners?
Electric. Saves me some effort = hell yeah I prefer that. >_>

23. What’s your stand on hunting?
Again, this is down fairly near my mom and the environment on the 'things I care about' list.

24. Is marriage in your future?
I know this... How? <_< At a guess, though... Based on my current record with relationships, nah, prolly not.

25. Do you like your handwriting?
It looks like a four year old's and has barely changed since I was in elementary school. So, absolutely fucking not.

26. What are you allergic to?
I have some slight nickel allergies, am fairly severely allergic to penicillin and have mild to moderate allergic reactions to a large number of antibiotics. I'm also lethally allergic to idiocy and severe dumbassery. >_>

27. When was the last time you said 'I love you?'
I... Have no idea.

28. Is Tupac still alive?
I fucking hope not. >_> One less rapper alive = one less rapper played on radio = one step closer to a happier Kelsey.

29. Do you cry at weddings?
No. I laugh. Because someone usually pulls dumb shit at my family's weddings. The notable one was when the bride (a cousin of mine) and groom had people tapping on their glasses to kiss, a younger cousin grabbed his knife and his fork and slammed them into the glass. The glass exploded. We still laugh about it.

30. How do you like your eggs?
Far, far away from me. >_>

31. Are blondes dumb?
Based on my experience... Abso-fucking-lutely, and I thank shit that I'm naturally a brunette.

32. Where does the other sock end up?
In the mouth of one of the dogs.

33. What time is it?
7:19 PM.

34. Do you have a nickname?
Kels, O'Stalin, Roach.

35. Is McDonald's disgusting?
Oh good shitting god, I won't go near that crap. If we /have/ to stop there I'll have a shake and a Diet Coke or something and nothing else. The shakes aren't bad. The food makes me pretty violently ill.

36. When was the last time you were in a car?
A few hours ago.

37. Do you prefer baths or showers?
I don't mind either. I actually like water... I prefer baths if I need to de-stress or just relax, though, and showers if I have to go somewhere.

38. Is Santa Claus real?
No. However, Satan Claws is another story...

39. Do you like having you neck kissed?
I... Wow. Good god. You know, I'm at a mild loss for words here so have the truth, aka some mild emotional scars: Yeah, I do. >_>

40. Are you afraid of the dark?
No, but I wish there was a way for me to see where the hell I'm going in my room so I don't need a nightlight and can prevent breaking my neck on my own terms. >_>

41. What are you addicted to?
Caffeine, obviously. To a lesser extent, hockey, gaming and wlm. The last one is so horrible I can't stop using it. >_>

42. Crunchy or creamy peanut butter?
Creamy. Crunchy's kinda disgusting to me.

43. Can you crack your neck?
Not consciously, but I do it on accident, at which point it sounds like a fucking firecracker going off.

44. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Yeah. After a car accident, I got carried off in a stretcher and put on the ambulance. It was... Interesting.

45. How many times have you brushed your teeth today?
Once.

46. Is drug free the way to be?
Define 'drug,' and is caffeine included in this? <_< If no, eh. If yes, absolutely not, you will take my caffeine out of my cold, dead hands, bastards. DDDD: <<<<<<<

47. Are you a heavy sleeper?
.... I hope somebody violates you anally with a metal oar. Which is rusty and has slivers of metal coming off of it. >_>

48. What colour are your eyes?
Grey-green. The color-changing shit seems to have died down a pretty good deal.

50. Do you like your life?
See comment for question 47. >_>

51. Who’s better: Stone Cold or The Rock?
I hate wrestling. They can both shove it.

52. Are you psychic?
Who's idiotic enough to believe that they really are? No, I am not.

53. Have you read "Catcher in the Rye"?
I got out of that by switching schools in my junior year. >_> Thank god, because school reading material bites.

54. Do you play any instruments?
I did and I hope to be able to change that to the present tense soon.

55. Have you ever stolen money?
Nah. Too lazy and I usually have what I need anyways.

56. Can you snowboard?
HAHAHAHAHA. Can I break my fucking neck, you mean.

57. Do you like camping?
No. Good fucking Leopold, no. Even in a motorhome it's horrible. I'm a/c and heater-less, stuck in the woods with mosquitoes and fuck knows what else, and this is usually in the summer so I'm fucking dying of heat, humidity and lack of wind.

58. Do you snort when you laugh?
Sometimes. All it does is make me laugh harder.

59. Do you believe in magic?
HAHAHAHAHA. Oh, how I wish. <_<

60. Are dogs a man’s best friend?
Yes. Yes, they are.

61. You believe in divorce?
I'm not sure it's always a good idea but yeah, I see nothing morally objectionable to it.

62. Can you do the moonwalk?
Who the hell d'you think I am, Colin Mochire?

63. Do you make a lot of mistakes?
My entire life is one gigantic mistake. So, yeah. >_>

64. Is it cold outside today?
No, irritatingly, it's still in the mid to upper 60s. F, obviously.

65. What was the last thing you ate?
Waffles. Hungry again, though.

66. Do you wear nail polish?
Yeah, it keeps me from gnawing my nails off.

67. Have you ever been kissed?
Yeah.

68. What's the most annoying TV commercial?
Anything with Billy Mays. I hated him before he died and I was actually happy he bit it because I thought they'd take the shitting commercials off the air. I thought wrong. >_> I do owe the Awesome Auger a thank you, though. That one annoyed and disturbed me out of a horrible dream involving planet-conquering giant centipedes and me being forced to breed with them. >_>

69. Do you shop at American Eagle?
Why? <_< Their clothes are way too small and they're hideous to begin with.

70. Favourite song at the moment?
Burn - Dope, Scream With Me - Mudvayne, Thrown Away - Papa Roach

71. Do you like your job?
What job? <_<

72. Do you like your classes in school?
What classes? >_>

73. How do you like your meat cooked?
What MEAT? <_< I don't eat meat and these questions are annoying me...

74. Do you like these surveys.
It kills some time so yeah.

75. Do you know how to tag three peoples?
Yeah. But good fucking luck getting me to do it, I'm hungry as hell.

BONUS!
76. Why did the Chicken Cross the road?
Because I was standing behind it with a knife, trying to decapitate it and use it in headless chicken races. I succeeded in the end. Another chicken dead, the rest of the population to go. <_<